How to create success in your life
Tere Zacher

Success is a tricky word.For some people it may mean one thing and for other people a complete different one. For me, success is aligned with being happy, being healthy, have a happy family and help other people. Much like happiness, for me success is being in the present moment and accepting things the way they are instead of wanting them to be different.

Of course, success can mean a completely different thing for everybody else. What is true for everybody is that if we have the right mindset we can be more successful in our lives regardless on how we define success.

All this sounds wonderful, doesn't it?  we know that working on our mindset can greatly help us. Here are five steps on how to develop a mindset for success.

1. Learn to think big

In The Magic of Thinking Big, author David Schwartz gives suggestions to help you develop creative power through belief. He writes, “Eliminate the word impossible from your thinking and speaking vocabularies. Impossible is a failure word. The thought ‘It’s impossible’ sets off a chain reaction of other thoughts to prove you’re right.” He then advises us to think of something we’ve been wanting to do but felt we couldn’t, and make a list of the reasons why we can do it. When we start thinking big and believing things can be done, our minds start working for us to find solutions to our problems.

It’s possible for you to do work you love, be very successful, find your passion, and build a life you love, and it starts with being able to think big. I never take no for an answer and I never limit my possibilities. I know that what I want from life is possible and, more importantly, I know I DESERVE IT. We generally limit ourselves because we don't think we deserve to have it all. Think twice, we are all made exactly the same, How come some people have a better life than others? it's not because of family connections, looks or anything like that 9true, it helps but it's not the deal breaker), it's because of the way they think and what they think they deserve.

The athletes I coach (specially my high school swimmers) know very well that the words "I can't" "It's hard" or "I am not good at this" are not allowed. My athletes know if they want to see me like a mad person they just have to say those words. If you think you can't you are right; you are closing the door for the possibilities of doing that thing. If you think "I will try" it doesn't mean it will necessarily happen, but at least the door to achieve it it's open.

2. Make decisions from the viewpoint of “future you”

Think about future you. Future you is the best possible version of you. Future you is the person you most want to be. It’s the “you” that lives your priorities and reaches big goals. What does future you want you to do today?

Does future you want you to go running tomorrow morning, or hit the snooze button a few times? Does future you want you to stay another year at the job you don’t like, or be brave enough to find your dream job? Does future you want you to take action toward a meaningful goal tonight, or mindlessly scroll through your social media newsfeeds?

Let the viewpoint of future you guide you as you make decisions in your daily life.

3. Rephrase your self-talk

Start paying attention to how you talk to your friends versus how you talk to yourself. If a friend says, “I want to lose 30 pounds,” you’d say, “Oh, that’s awesome! If anyone can do it, you can! I’m here to cheer you on; you’re going to do great! You’ve got this! Now go crush your goal!”

Compare that to how we often talk to ourselves. If we tell ourselves, “I want to lose 30 pounds,” we look in the mirror and say, “Ya, right. You’ve tried before and failed. There’s no way you can do it. You’re too far gone now, why even try? You’ll never keep up an exercise habit. Healthy eating? Hahahaaaa. Nope.” I always talk about this when I speak in front of an audience. Would I tell my daughter (the person I love the most in the world... sorry Kev ;) )"you are an idiot! I can't believe you forgot to do that!" or "yeah right, like you will be able to become a... or to have a..." Of course not! I always want to encourage my daughter to become whatever she wants and to think that the world belongs to her. I would never tell her she looks ugly, or fat, or that she is an idiot for forgetting something... however I have caught myself doing this when I speak to myself. This needs to stop ASAP.

I want you to start treating yourself with the utmost respect. Start talking to yourself in a kind, encouraging, supportive way, as you would your best friend. One way you can work on your self-talk is by rephrasing your sentences. Instead of saying, “I can’t,” rephrase it to, “I don’t know how — yet — but I can learn.”

4. Take action even when you’re scared

One of the best ways to build your confidence is by taking steps out of your comfort zone. When you learn to act even when you’re scared, your confidence and momentum build. You don’t have to start by taking massive leaps out of your comfort zone. Just start taking one baby step each day. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, try a different spice in a recipe, or ask that person on a date.

You can let fear guide your life, or you can learn to act even when you’re afraid. Working toward big goals and building the life of your dreams will require you to move outside of your comfort zone, and although it’s scary, it’s incredibly rewarding.

If I wouldn't move out of my comfort zone and wouldn't have faced my fears I won't be writing this today. I got married for the first time when I was 22 years old. He is a nice person but we were completely wrong for each other. After 6 years of being miserable (both of us, I am not blaming anyone here) I had to face the fear of becoming a divorced person, of following on my parents steps (which I was trying to avoid) and of taking a plunge to the unknown. That was the best decision of my life for now I have a happy family and he is happy in his new life as well. All my life I have had to take action when I have been scared. Starting to swim at a high level (and against all odds) a  24. Moving to a different country in a city where I knew no one. Leaving an unfulfilling job to pursue my running career at 40 years old. Marrying someone who is awesome but younger than I am (yep, Kevin is three years younger than I am and this was a big no no in my past). But I am glad I have faced fear in the face and done things anyway, for I am the happiest I have ever been. And the more than I do it (facing fear in the face and stepping out of my comfort zone) the easier it gets.

5. Set goals that align with your priorities

No matter how ambitious you are, and how successful you are according to society, it’s tough to feel truly fulfilled in your life if you’re not living your life according to your priorities. Define what a successful life means to you. Does it mean reaching a certain income level and building a strong financial legacy? Does it mean having a great work-life balance? Does it mean building your own business? Does it mean raising kids who are kind, helpful people? It’s important to think about what it means to you to be successful, and set goals that align with your priorities, so you can work toward your version of success in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling.

When I stopped swimming (for a little bit) after my divorce I got a fantastic job at a National TV Network. I was reading news on national TV, getting paid a ton of money (really, it was a great pay), I got all my utilities paid off, wardrobe, make up (like I wear it!), the gym, I was traveling to interview cool actors (Glenn Close, Bruce Willis, Jon Bon Jovi), I was invited to a lot of parties and all i had to look was look pretty and avoid cutting my hair or gaining weight. Sounds like a dream for many people but I was very unfulfilled. I didn't feel I was making a difference in the world and I was not happy. Needless to say, after two years I quit and went back swimming full time, moving to another city to train with the national team and living on a small stipend and on a teacher's salary (I love teaching!). I can still hear my mom and some people telling me that was a big mistake. I mean, it was a pretty good life. But that's not what I want from life. All I wanted (and all I want) is to have a family, to make a difference in the world, and to keep pushing my physical limits to see how far/fast I can go and in the process help other people believe they can do it as well. Money doesn't move me. So, I let go of that job because it was not aligned with my priorities. 

Developing a mindset for success is not an overnight process, but it can be done. Continue to work on your mindset and your life will change in amazing ways!

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